Fairy tales are full of crap…

First off, I’d just like to say that I love Lost. As I write this, I’m sitting on the Thomasville watching season two of Lost with Nick and occasionally taunting him…”I know what’s gonna happen. I know what’s gonna happen.”

Last night’s episode of Lost was pretty cool, and that’s all I’m gonna say about that lest I spoil it for any of you who are not caught up. (I cannot, however, vouch that nothing will be spoiled in the comment section. So if you’re worried about stuff like that, be wary of what you read.)

Today I’d like to carry on with the next installment of Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, er...I mean, Ridiculously Insane!

Just when you thought our favorite astronaut story couldn’t be topped, I heard about this story. Apparently, things had gotten so bad between Angela Nellany and her husband, Paul, that she wanted him dead. He was allergic to wasps and she put a can of grape soda in his car in an effort to use wasps to sting him to death. Later, she tried to hire a friend’s boyfriend to kill her husband. She paid him the handsome sum of $300 to start and promised another $300 when the job was done. Being a man who could think on his feet, he promptly spent the initial $300 and then went to tell the husband of his crazy wife’s intentions. The husband then went to the authorities.

During the investigations, the detectives learned that Paul had gotten random phone calls from “anonymous people” who said that his wife was trying to kill him. It wasn’t even the first time that he had heard that his wife wanted him dead.

Now, there are several things wrong with this scenario:

1)Who uses wasps to try and kill someone? Turns out that their kids were in the car during this attempt and they could’ve been killed too! I mean, come on, wasps? Was she inspired by last summer’s blockbuster Snakes On A Plane? Now we have wasps in a car!

2)Paul went on record to say that this wasn’t the first time that his wife had wanted him dead. Now, I don’t know about you, but if someone wanted me dead (why would someone want to kill me, anyway? Don’t answer that.), I’d remove myself from their presence yesterday. And then I’d move even further away. And when I was done with that moving, I’d move again.

3)$300 to kill someone? I’d have demanded at LEAST $350.

But seriously, what is going on? Where are all the normal people? For once, I just want to read something “normal” in the news, for example:

Schaumburg, IL - Today a local man sat on his comfy couch while watching old episodes of Lost with his roommate and writing in his blog. Shortly after, one of his admiring readers sent him a check for $1,000 and provided him with a monkey butler.

See, isn’t that better? I agree.

You know where to send the check.

Much luv,
Rob
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Song of the Day: “My Overkill” by Colin Hay (is that obscure enough for you, F3?)