Nobody knows...the trouble I've seen...

I wasn't really sure what to write about today, but I just received (from a very reliable source) a little story that I thought was rather amusing. I'd like to entitle it:

"Now THAT's thinking outside of the box...or cell (in this case.)"

An Old Italian man lived alone in the country. It was early spring and he wanted to dig his tomato garden, but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty badly because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me.
Love,
Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the bodies.
Love,
Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,
Vinnie

That's pretty resourceful, no? Kudos to Vinnie for finding a way to get the job done in spite of his incarceration.

Now if we could only get the rest of those lazy criminals in prison to do likewise...

Have a great 4th, peoples! Don't lose any fingers...

Much luv,
Rob
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Song of the Day: "Beautiful World" by Collin Hay

Careful, I think it's up to something...

Simple. Over the weekend I was thinking about simplicity a bit. I think that when it comes down to it, I am a pretty simple man. I have simple pleasures, simple tastes, and many people would argue that I am rather simple-minded.

I'd like to think that's not necessarily a bad thing. It is because of this simplicity that I find the following clip so absolutely hilarious. It comes from some Japanese game show, and the more I watch it the funnier it becomes. Take a look:


And as if that wasn't funny enough, take a look at what someone with a little creative editing skills was able to accomplish:


hehehe...

I figure that I must be simple to enjoy that so much. And if you find it as hilarious as I do, you just might be simple, too. (With a minimal amount of searching, you can find all sorts of variations of that clip...try searching for dramatic squirrel and you'll see.)

Anyway, I suppose I'm just enjoying the simple things today, like the fact that the sun is shining and the temperature is nearly perfect. Perhaps you can take a little joy in something simple today as well.

Or at least get a chuckle from that shifty eyed varmint.

Much luv,
Rob
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Song of the Day: "Simple Lessons" by Candlebox

I hear that kilts are mighty comfortable...

"Aye, fight and you may die, run, and you'll live... at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take... OUR FREEDOM!"

So Paris Hilton has been freed from jail. I figure she can relate to ol' William Wallace now.

No?

Yeah, you're right.

I'm a little confused why this is such a big deal. Rumor has it that some networks were ready to pay her $1 million to get the first post-jail interview. When sanity returned, however, they dropped the offers and tomorrow night she will speak to Larry King for free. How very fortunate for Larry.

As for me, I'm through thinking upon the spoiled heiress. No more will I talk, rant, or write anything about her, unless it has to do with the fact that her recording of "Stars Are Blind" was actually halfway decent. I'd encourage you to do the same.

Then, from her nonsense, we'll all have our own "freedom."

Much luv,
Rob
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Song of the Day: "Hey There Delilah" by Plain White T's

You're not an ordinary fella...

Oi...what a day yesterday. Was too busy to find time to write, but that's ok. You forgive me, right?

So I flipped open my little calendar to see if today's "holiday" would inspire me in some sort of way. It marked today as "Stupid Guy Thing Day."

It's as if it was watching my life last night...

The other day I spoke of Dance, Dance, Revolution (DDR). Well, last night a buddy of mine came over and brought it with him. It didn't take long to get completely wrapped up in the game, and soon there were a bunch of grown men (ok, that's arguable) competing on this game and talking trash like we were outside playing ball or something. At one point it got so competitive that one player was calling out the other one, "Dude, don't bounce when there's no arrows! That's distracting!"

It...was...AWESOME!

Ordinarilly, I'm not so competitive and I think that getting so wrapped up in a game is a little weird. Last night, however, I saw how truly hilarious it can be.

So is that a "Stupid Guy Thing?" It might be, but the clincher was deciding (after 2:00 a.m.) that we should go out for burritos, only to find that Tapatios was closed.

Ridiculous.

Yet totally fun.

Which I think perfectly sums up "Stupid Guy Thing Day."

So do something ridiculous, yet totally fun, today. You owe it to your inner stupid guy. (For those of you who aren't a stupid guy on the outside as well.)

Much luv,
Rob
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Song of the Day: "Good Intentions" by Toad the Wet Sprocket

Rob Van Winkle was so cool...

So last night a little something happened that may have changed the course of my life forever...

I finally played Guitar Hero!

Oh my gosh! What an amazing game! It was so fun to rock out to tunes like Cherry Pie, Rock This Town, Monkey Wrench, etc... If Josh hadn't kicked me out of his place I'm pretty sure I'd still be rocking out right now.

Of course, I am now torn between the passions of trying to become a true Guitar Hero or a Dance Master (Dance Dance Revolution). A man divided between two such passions will surely fail to achieve either, right? It's a tough decision, and I fully intend to waffle between the two. For the record, I think that DDR still might be more fun, but the fact that Guitar Hero doesn't leave you a sweaty, smelly mess when you are done is a pretty big plus.

It's only a matter of time until these two powerhouse rockin' games are combined into one uber-game in which you must dance and jam at the same time. It's probably on that day, my friends, that Jack Black will probably be named president of the world and the world will rock as never before.

Speaking of rocking as never before (and hopefully never again), here's a video clip of Vanilla Ice and some Ninja Turtles getting their groove on! Go ninja, go ninja, go! (This song came on last sunday while I was at Jimmy John's having lunch. True story!)



Much luv,
Rob
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Song of the Day: "In My Place" by Coldplay